One Man's Opinion...

...Isn't the ONLY opinion.

Opinions are tricky little buggers and we all have them. Sometimes they are based on fact and sometimes on supposition. Of course, fact-based is the best, but we all fall into the trap of forming an opinion based on emotion. It is one of the human failings that proves to be terribly problematic, and I can humbly tell you that I am afflicted with this particular flaw, (but I'm working to correct it). A fair-minded individual will, at the very least, listen to another's opinions and give them the opportunity to "hang" themselves, agree with them, or persuade the listener. None of these are bad, and they can make for lively, if not educational, discourse.

However, we all know that there are people who absolutely refuse to entertain any other opinions. Who think that they have THE answer. Who believe that they are either right, or more knowledgeable about a subject than anyone else, therefore they do not feel the need to listen to the opinions of other people. Couple that will a lack of facts and you have some serious misconceptions. When THESE people engage, it is very difficult to have a rational conversation, or dare I say, ANY conversation, because it's typically a one-sided harangue that cannot be halted until the speaker has completed their diatribe. To even make an attempt to dispute the "evidence" or get the person to entertain another line of thought is usually futile.

So...why...bother?

I know a young man who engages me in serious conversations whenever we meet. He's a great person but sometimes I just want to throttle him. Recently he engaged me about a subject that he not only had no personally obtained knowledge about, but the "facts" that were cascading out of his mouth were erroneous. His opinion was based on what others were saying not his own original thought, and those people based their opinions on their extremly right-winged political and religious beliefs ("intolerance" is more accurate). When I tried to correct the errors he was regurgitating, he immediately began his retort without any thought. Did he even begin to listen to what I had to say? Nope. I got three, MAYBE four, words out before he began again. So, knowing this is the usual outcome...why bother engaging this person upon every meeting? There are good reasons to take the time to listen to and give your ideas and opinions to these people. Keep in mind, however, that this may also be applied to YOU.

1. You have the hard-fought right to do so.

• It really doesn't even matter whether or not you are entirely accurate (although it's a good idea to keep your mouth shut if you aren't).
• Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has the right to their opinions even if they are based on emotion and/or supposition.
• Whether or not they are the same as yours isn't relevant.
• Our soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines and coast guard put their lives on the line so that we ALL have the right to speak freely, as allowed in the 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution.
• This sacred document does not say..."unless you are wrong". It says we can speak freely. Period.

Now, of course, there are laws that prohibit certain kinds of speech, but I have no intention to go into that now. Talk to me later...let's debate the issue. I'm game.

2. By sharing your opinion, you might positively influence the other person.

• You may enlighten them to something they did not know and help them
  
  expand their line of thinking, either towards your opinion or to a less stubborn visage of their own.
• In a civil and polite debate, people listen to each other and refute those points that are either incorrect or based on less than credible fact, and by debating in this way, you may calm them down enough to listen to you...or anyone else.
• You may be able to persuade them to change their mind, or at the very least, get them to concede that you may have a point. It's not much, but change, like growth, takes time. Make sure to allow for that.
  

3. If you have tangible evidence that they are wrong, don't you owe it to them to at least let them get that information?

Perhaps you can help them grow not only educationally, but in character? If there's a chance to help someone else become a better person, don't you owe them the information needed to help in the process?

• If you can backup what you say, then you should do so. The other person may need to see for themselves what you say is true before allowing themselves to make changes in their outlook. If you aren't going to believe them, there's no reason for them to blindly believe you.
  
• In the process of showing them YOUR truth, you may find that they are, in fact, more on the "right side" than you are, and you will be the one who is wiser. It surely can't hurt you to learn of your own inaccuracies. Growth CAN be two-way.
• Keep in mind that they may be thinking the same about you. It can make for a difficult situation.
  

As a silly example, let me tell that you have to be careful to know what's in the water when you go fishing in the Bay because some of the fish have teeth. And some are pretty funny looking because they have lips.

You may tell me that fish don't have teeth, an it's unlikely that they even have lips because these are human characteristics. Humans have a habit of attributing human traits onto animals, called anthropomorphism, and I am obviously doing that when I make such a ridiculous statement.

I could argue my point endlessly to no avail. Why should you believe me? I don't think I'd believe anything just because you said it was so and really, I'm not THAT gullible. You think you are right and I think that I am right. We could continue this ridiculous discussion with no one changing their mind or giving in because we both KNOW that we are right.

So, to show you that fish do have teeth and much to your surprise, I pull up a picture of a fish with both teeth and lips.

You then contend that not all fish have teeth, or lips, and as a reasonable person I should agree that perhaps not all fish have teeth or lips, but tautog have teeth AND lips!

How can anyone refute facts that are clearly displayed?

Now I grant this this example is goofy, and highly unlikely to produce a raucous debate, or even a serious argument, but it's what came to mind based on a recent conversation I had with a friend. It was a nutty conversation, but my friend WAS surprised to find that tautog have both teeth and lips. I know I was surprised the first time I pulled one out of the Bay. Ugly fish. But, I'm getting off subject so back to the point...

In a polite and civil debate, both SHOULD be able to agree to disagree if they cannot find common ground. This is not weakness. It takes a lot of character to say "You know, I don't agree with you, but I respect that you are entitled to your point of view. Let's move on." Unfortunately, this is far less the situation than it should be.

Of course there are those who will rebuff your attempts, and there's nothing you can do about that. However, if you don't try, you are giving up on the person and their ability to grow as a human being.

And in the end, isn't that what you wanted in the first place?

Just Be Yourself

Today I read a great Twitter posting about personal branding from Social Net Daily, Building the foundation – Make yourself the most Re-Tweetable guy around http://ow.ly/Cq9X. It's full of advice on how to build a Twitter brand that's unique and gives great information on how to tweet effectively to build a following and earn credibility. This is all good info, and I'm a huge fan of the site (so not starting anything with you folks), but it got me thinking about why I'm on Twitter and what I think about gaining followers, building credibility, re-tweetability, and being popular.

That led me to ponder on the value of my brand and whether or not I cared to be popular, or the most re-tweeted person on Twitter, or to just be myself. I have to admit, my ego jumped right into the conversation with its two cents, but I managed to quash that voice and focus on the question at hand: Is working towards being the most popular person on Twitter really a goal, or is it a superficial way to gain self-esteem?

Isn't it okay to just be myself?

I contend that to be yourself is authentic; to stay "on topic all the time" or homogenous is superficial, and forgive me...a little boring. I follow an eclectic group of people and I allow an eclectic group of people to follow me. According to some, that's not a good idea as it reflects on my personal brand. How the heck is that??? Sure, WHO I follow may reflect, but unless those pesky porn sites are on the list, how can following musicians, celebrities, motivational speakers, dogs, cats, or funny people adversely affect me? If I allow those same people to follow me, how can they hurt me? I don't believe that it matters overmuch.

If I'm trying to establish WHO I am, what I believe in, how I think, and what interests me, then wouldn't it make sense to actually put all that out there? If a future employer wants to know YOU, how can they if all they see are tweets related to specific topics ONLY? I contend they do not merely want to hire an image, but a person with more to offer than just what they have to offer a business. Humans are social and we all like to be around people LIKE US. If you think an employer won't hire YOU, I don't see how they would just hire a brand that isn't fleshed out.

Now, don't get me wrong. I follow and RT the legal community and will continue to do so because I endeavor to work in the legal field. However, I also RT, reply, or otherwise respond to tweets that I personally find valuable, interesting or funny. Sometimes it's good to deviate from a specific topic, if for no other reason than to add a little of yourself, or personality and/or color to what you put out to the world.

If you are true to yourself then it shouldn't matter that those you follow, or follow you, are as varied as you are.


After all...if branding is about building YOU, then why not put YOU in what you give and take?

Doing Your Best When No One Is Looking

Everyone has those days when all they want to do is get done with the work and get outta the office, classroom, library...wherever. That's pretty universal, I think, especially on Fridays or on the weekends. The fact is, however, sooner or later the work that was put off will either have to be completed, or there may be repercussions associated with the decision to shuck responsibilities in order to leave a little early. Even if the boss says it's okay, do you do what you must, or do you do what is right? Do you goof off or do you save that until you are off the clock? Do you begin projects early, or wait to the last minute to complete an assignment? Is the lack of personal attentiveness to quality work when no one is paying attention worth the repercussions?

When you do a job, whether it's a paid job, a volunteer job, or you're a student, you are still responsible for turning in quality work. As a paid employee it's imperative to your reputation that the job gets completed not only in a timely manner, but at a standard that is acceptable (or better) in your industry. To complete a project with the basic requirements met may be acceptable, but really, do you want to be known as a mediocre or substandard employee? Those are the folks who, barring other situations, are in the unemployment lines these days. Substandard work does not help you, your employer, or the industry you work in. Success does not come to those who do not go above and beyond the expected. Standard work is now the equivalent of mediocrity. Are these the qualities of a person YOU would hire?

If you are a volunteer, you are still being depended upon to do a job. The money isn't the issue if you're a volunteer (although I know plenty who would LOVE a paycheck for their efforts). Most volunteers do the jobs they do for the experience (great for a resume), but lots also do it for the personal satisfaction of helping out where help is needed. So, if you are either of these two personalities, do you think that you will not get fired for doing/turning in substandard work? Of course you can. A volunteer may not get paid, but no one needs to keep you around if you don't do what needs to be done. They DO keep around those who do exemplary work for the benefit of the agency. So, if you are a volunteer and you do what you must and then get "outta here", you are at risk of being asked not to return. Is this the type of volunteer you'd want to have around?

If you are a college student, you are expected to show up, do the work assigned on time, and know the assignments that are already on the syllabus. This is the area I see so much laziness (personally). As a mature student, I am constantly reminded of how much I have grown since I was the age of my student peers. The exception is: I did what was expected above the accepted standard even then. I see students receive the syllabus then promptly toss it at the first sign of a receptacle because they do not care about school. The professors get annoyed by the laziness, but continue to give new a syllabus to those who "cannot find theirs". Then, these same students wait until the last week, maybe the last day, to do the project/paper and turn it in. Do you think they turn in acceptable work? Of course not! Do you think they get the grades they think they deserve? Of course not! Do you think they care? You guessed it...of course not! Professors do not reward those who do not try their hardest, but they do quickly give the grades that are "earned", which is to say...a bad grade. Is this the kind of student you want to be known as?

Doing quality work takes effort. It takes the will to excel and rise above the acceptable requirements. It takes CARING about being good at what you do, no matter what you are doing or who is watching you. It's about taking personal responsibility for all that falls under your purview. It takes the desire to build a good reputation. It takes desire to be more than mediocre. It's about doing your best because your best is all you want to do.

The biggest shame of it all is that the effort isn't as much as you would think. Do the following and it will make being that person known to produce quality work so much easier:

• ORGANIZE: This is probably the most important thing to do. Files, folders...whatever works for you, but keep all your relevant papers together; keep your computer files together. This makes finding what you need not only easier, but faster.
• THINK: This may seem like a no-brainer, but a lot of people just "go through the motions". Think about what is needing to be done and the best way to do it. Think about who needs to be involved (if anyone else). Think about resources needed. Think about all of it, then...
• WRITE IT DOWN. People who make lists rarely forget things. Sure, we all have days when we're working on two cylinders instead of four, but if you write things down, you are less likely to forget an element that's necessary to complete the job/project. After writing it down, organize it on paper (outline). This way, you don't have to commit anything to memory, but can use the paperwork to help you progress. A HUGE time saver!
• TALK IT OUT. If you are stuck, ask someone for ideas. Make sure to give them credit or believe me, they won't be helping you again. If you're writing a paper get another set of eyes to read it. If you are working on a project, get input from the other departments that may be impacted by the final product. Teamwork cannot take place without communication, so if you work as part of a team, put as much into it as you get out of it. Share.
• DO IT RIGHT. If you do anything, make sure you do it right the first time. Nothing is more annoying than typos, improperly quoted remarks, bad grammar, misspellings and improper layout are examples. Use the spelling and grammar check on your computer! No matter what anyone says, turning in a draft that is inferior is reflective on the person who's responsible for it. Do it right the first time. This will save time when deadlines approach.

These are so easy to do and yet so many do not do them. After a very short while, these become habits and then...exemplary work becomes YOUR norm. Sure, there will be days when you don't function at 100%, and no one holds you responsible for those days. We are, after all, only human. But, consistently doing your best when no one is looking is a sign of integrity, and integrity is the sign of a good employee, volunteer, student, person.

Do you do the best you can when no one is looking?

Don't Be A Stinky Fish

Following people on Twitter is like a fishing expedition. If you catch a good one, it's a keeper. If you catch a bad one, it's called a "stinky fish" and you throw it back. To unfollow equals that toss back into the sea of people who are still looking for their own good catch.

Today I was accused of spamming a fellow Twitterer. This has left me not speechless (that's pretty rare), but FURIOUS. Me being furious is equal to the Archangel Michael being just a little pissed off. If that's not enough of a visual...I AM REALLY PISSED OFF. It just cannot be made any plainer than that. The question is: why?

Earlier today I put out into the Twitterverse a request for help to find a blogging area that I could use that would allow for a personalized site that didn't require uploading the entire site when I updated my blog (just stopped to take a breath). Shortly thereafter I received a reply that said "Me, too!" As a consequence, I sent a DM to this person with information on the software I was going to use (as was suggested to me by another Twitterer). I (incorrectly) thought that this person would want to know what I decided to do and shared that info via a DM (direct message). I used this method to transmit info that I do not want in the public purvue, and this time, mainly because I did not want to promote the software outright without having tried it first.

The next thing I know, I have a public reply/question as to why I "DM spammed" this person.

First off, if this person really followed ME, this person would KNOW that I am not a marketer, have nothing to sell, and I do not spam because I am vehemently against all spam. I have stated this repeatedly, by-the-way. So, my next question is: Shouldn't you try to see whether it was intentional, or an honest mistake, before sending such an accusation out into the Twitterverse?

I'm pretty sure you know that I'm all about finding the intent before making the accusation. I understand that there are times when we all will make this error, but try to make it privately. Going public with it causes others to unfollow someone based on your accusation, and can needlessly impair an innocent person's reputation.

Thankfully, my followers know ME. If you don't, then spend some time reading my blog. If you think I'm a spammer after that...by all means...unfollow me.

How you appear to others depends entirely on you and your responses. If you are a stinky fish, I will definitely throw you back.

To the person who accused me of being a spammer...to ME...you are a stinky fish.

Give It A Rest!

Ironically, the day that Twitter went down a few weeks ago is the same day I had decided to take a step back from my electronic gadgets and enjoy the world of real people. When I returned to my gadgetry I discovered that Twitter, and Facebook, had been down for hours.

I didn't even miss it.

From time to time it is imperative to evaluate your habits. Some aren't so bad and you can get away with them, but others are, perhaps, not bad for your health, but they are bad for the health of your relationships. Take a good look at what you do when you get up, and before you go to bed. If you wake up with "friends" you've never even met and then go to bed with those same "voices" in your head, where is the space for the REAL PEOPLE who share your life?

IF your family asks when you will join them, or leave your computer, you are probably spending far too much time with your gadgetry and not enough with them. It's ok. Give it a rest and join the real people. You probably won't even miss it.